The Stroking Simulancer of Nomricon
In the year 2135, on the fringes of the infinitesimal spiral galaxy known as Nomricon, a peculiar device lay hidden in the wreckage of an old, long-forgotten spaceship. This device, known as the Stroking Simulancer, had an inscrutable purpose, something which even the star-gazing inhabitants of Nomricon could not fathom. To them, the Simulancer was an absurd relic of a bygone era, like a rubber ducky in a desert of logic.
Narl Wibble, a cantankerous scholar of the obscure, stumbled upon the Simulancer while scavenging through the relics of Nomricon’s history. Narl, who fancied himself a connoisseur of absurdities, was ecstatic. His reputation as a seeker of the strange had made him a local hero in the obscure corners of the galaxy, and this find promised to elevate his status to near-mythical proportions.
The Simulancer was a complex contraption made of polished brass, with a series of dials, levers, buttons and spinny things that seemed to have no discernible pattern. It looked like something a mad scientist might have designed while under the influence of a particularly good space-hallucinogenic. Despite its outward appearance, it was clear that this device held secrets that even the most learned scientists of Nomricon couldn’t crack.
